Well CPL is over and it's back to the Internet we go. The world of online leagues, CAL-im teams that play better than CAL-i teams when you scrim them, and most importantly mIRC. MIRC, where kids who couldn't walk up a flight up of stairs without passing out become 6'10" ultimate fighting champions who would beat up anyone if they said something to them "on LAN". The power of anonymity has created a community of egos and smack talking, but this is where we are stuck spending at least 95% of our gaming time. With so much interaction on IRC, it’s about time we had some guidelines set out for everyone to follow. I may be a dreamer thinking that's possible, but at least I'll show you how to interact with top players on IRC so maybe, just maybe, you can get them to reply to your query.

For starters let me explain my daily experience on IRC. For those of you that don't know me, I'm a CAL-Invite CS 1.6 player. I'm just your run of the mill CAL-I player, and not even close to being as popular as the stars of the game, such as Shaguar or Ksharp. In my average IRC day I spend 4-8 hours online and get anywhere from 10 to 30 private messages (PM's). For the sake of this article, we'll average it out and say I get 20 PM's a day.

Private Messaging

The general view of CAL-I players is that they're arrogant jerks. How would anyone know? Well, they tried to talk to some CAL-I player on IRC and that was the impression they had. I've been a jerk in PM's and I'm sure plenty of other players have as well. There is a reason for it and it is very simple. Dumb PM's become extremely irritating. As I said above, I receive about 20 PM's every day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year. After years of gaming, a never ending stream of dumb PM's will make even the nicest players lose their patience.

Here's a list of the PM's I saw when I logged in today.

[User1] Hey Ice, you there?
[User2] hey
[User3] sup man
[User4] have you seen birdy, he's never on
[Staff Member] hey dave, message me when you get on
[Friend1] BURKE!!!! whad up man!
[User5] hey man, i my peons got trimmed :( can you re-add me

Seven PM's waiting for me when I logged in at 6 PM. Needless to say I got more as the day went on. That may not seem so bad, but what happens if I reply? Let me pretend I replied to the first guy saying, "Hey Ice, you there?"

12:30 [User] Hey Ice, you there?
6:00 [IceCream] yes?

No reply so I close the PM

6:50 [random] hey man sorry I was eating dinner, you there now?
7:15 [IceCream] I was scrimming, what’s up?

No reply, PM closed

7:30 [random] ahh!!! i missed you again, you here?
7:31 [IceCream] yes I am
7:31 [random] ah cool, I wanted to ask you what resolution and crosshair you use?

After banging my head on my desk for a while and wishing I could strangle this guy, I won't even answer his question due to the hassle he put me through. Now look at all the other PM's I have. Several other PM's will be just like that one, so that the 20 or so PM's I usually get turn into 50 or more after trying to reply. Remember this is every day, all year long. I don't even want to comprehend what a person like fRoD or Ksharp would go through. Some players at that level have to log in under fake names, or not idle public channels for this very reason. It becomes annoying dealing with these PM's so often. Players get frustrated and lash out. That is a big part of why CAL-I players have gained the reputation of being arrogant jerks.

**IceCream's New Rule**

Treat PM's like you're leaving a message on someone's answering machine or voice mail. It doesn't matter if you 100% know for sure that they're online because you see them talking in a different channel; leave a full message. Don't say something like "hey, you there?" That would sound really dumb on a voice mail message. Leave the reason you're messaging them, or ask them the question you want to ask. If you do that, you have a much better chance of getting a reply. If you fail to do this, then expect your PM to be ignored.


Public Channels

Public channels - everyone has a public channel or at least idles somebody else’s. These rules should help people figure out why there were banned from a channel if they didn't already know. Breaking these rules in a PM instead of in a public channel will often result in an even longer ban than if you did it in channel.

** IceCream's Rules**

Advertising - No advertising in a channel unless you have peons or if you know the channel has rules different than that. Advertising includes websites, clubs, and channels. If you advertise, expect to be banned.

Peons - Don't ask for them unless you're in the same gaming league and level as the person you ask, or you know them outside of gaming. If you lose your peons, then ask the person who gave them to you, not someone else.

Fake sportsmanship - Top teams lose to lower teams in scrims more often than they'd like. You don't get to join the team's channel and go "GG". It’s no secret that it’s being done for attention, or to get people to ask what the score was so you can brag. If you really do want to say good game and mean it, then say it in game, or do it in a private message.

Respect people - Sorry kiddos, but the Internet is not some fantasy world. I think my teammate Michael 'pure' Kleinecke said it best...

"Believe it or not, but when you play Counter-Strike you are in the real world. You don't travel to some other dimension or universe. It's you spending your time playing a game and it's not a fake game, it's a real game, on a real computer, in a real house, in the real world. I’ve never left a soccer game and told my friends, "I have to get back to the real world now.""

It’s true. The people you talk to online are real people. They deserve to be treated that way. Follow the 'Golden Rule' and treat others the way you would want to be treated.

My Final Gripe - Clubs

I think everyone has been asked to join a gaming club. It's annoying. Every club I've been asked to join, I've turned down. It's not because I'm hoping a certain club will ask me, I'm just not a club guy. I get a lot of grief for it too. First the "why not" question comes, but it’s usually "why not, you think you're too good for us?" For some reason these people can't comprehend that there are people that wouldn't want to be in their precious club. Even better is the "It's a compliment to you that we want you to join." Yes it is, but you don't ask Barry Bonds to join your local softball team. I don't think I'm the Barry Bonds of CS, but don't ask me or anyone other CAL-i player to join your "cal-i/p" club that has 1 CAL-I player, 2 CAL-p players and 100 cal-m people. Maybe you're club has all the best players in the world, it still doesn't matter.

**IceCream's Rule**

If you aren't good friends with a person, then don't ask them to join your club. Asking favors from people you don't know is rude.

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I hope that some of you will take a few tips away from this article. We spend so much time on IRC, a few rules and manners wouldn't hurt.