High Self Esteem

vs.

The Experiment

After a heart-breaking loss to the doctors and a glorified scrimmage against a lackluster 407 (Hello, friends!), ex returns to the fray against an always game High Self Esteem. Unfortunately for HSE, a team comprised mainly of dmers, 2fort is a map that relies much more heavily on teamwork and strategy than individual skill. Any advantage potentially gained through years of deathmatch will be completely nullified by the stifling oppression of the forts' despotic wooden boards, and the tyrannical (yet sensual) sway of its moat. And no amount of self-assuredness, no matter how high or how well-founded, will provide relief.
 
Experiment's innovative strategies and impeccable teamwork will simply prove too much for the overwhelmed HSE.  Their confidence shaken, the very foundation of their self-worth tattered and torn - High Self Esteem will return home in tears, slamming the front door and stomping up their stairs in a hysterical frenzy. The bedroom door locked, their parents dismissed with an armada of "Nothing's wrong"s and "I'm fine"s, HSE will then sit in front of the mirror, mascara running down their powdered cheeks, lips trembling, and they will notice cellulite that they hadn't noticed before. They will see that one eye is bigger than the other, and that their gums look HUGE when they smile.  And self-hatred will rise up in them like bile, and, of their own volition, their right hands will take their black lipsticks, and they will put those lipsticks against the mirror, and they will write FAT, and UGLY, and NOONE LOVES YOU, and then the lipsticks will break, like their self-perceptions, and High Self Esteem will slump against their dresser and sob quietly until dawn.

Gashuffer's Prediction: ex 3-0.

Powerplay

vs.

20id

Powerplay, a mediocre team (formerly the mediocre West Coast Offensive), is coming off a mediocre win against another mediocre team, Random New Clan (now the mediocre Legacy), whom they bested in a mediocre match with a mediocre performance on gravelpit.  The mediocrity will continue here, as the mediocre [p2] takes on 20id, a team that is far from mediocre, but that will be reduced to mediocrity on the mediocre map of 2fort. 
 
Kaybee will play a huge role here, as he locks down the defense for 20id as tightly as a fundamentalist Muslim father does for his daughter.  And if Kaybee lets the intel slip through, expect [20id]Motard to invoke the ancient act of Honor Killing to expunge his clan's sinful shame.  However, unless the "super secret strat" [p2] has been hyping actually works, Motard and his cronies should walk into the next round unscathed (and unstoned).

Gashuffer's Prediction: 20id 2-0.

Wrecked

vs.

ugkz

To my dearest Thurs[REK]day;
 
Incredible performance last week against Comedy Option!  Your grenades were like the cannonballs of angels, your stiickies a celestial salvo of screaming seraphim!  Oh, how your well-defined muscles rippled as you gracefully smashed your bottle over the enemies' heads! How the heavens lit up when you smiled after stopping an enemy rush!   
 
But, alas, I do not write this to express my love for you. I write this because I am concerned.  This Sunday, you and your group of friends (who take advantage of you, by the way) plan to play the Underground Kingz on 2fort.  While your "clan" is skilled (especially you, sweetums!), I do not think you are ready for UGKZ.  Yes, I know you got the winning cap on c.opt, honey buns, but they hadn't played together in a while, and, to be quite frank, I think they stopped caring about the game long ago. The Underground Kingz have been practicing, have great individual skill, and they grew up poor, so you know they're of ill-repute.  For yourself, for your family, and for our love, please don't play the match on Sunday.  Why don't you stay at home with me and cuddle? I'll make popcorn, and rub your feet, and maybe even get a little naughty (I've been dying to try some of those edible panties I hear so much about)!
 
Your Sweet Sugar Pie,
Gashuffer
 
p.s. If you decide to forsake our love and play, ugkz will win 2-1.

Dorks With Tranquilizers (MugNMouse)

vs.

Adrenaline Gamers

This match can be boiled down to a few simple syllogisms.
 
If dr is good,
and aG beat dr last round,
then aG is good.
 
If MNM is bad,
and if MNM is bad,
then MNM is bad.
 
MNM has never beaten decent opposition, while aG is coming off an extremely close victory over the doctors. aG has great individual player skill, MNM doesn't.  aG has great teamwork (as evident in their wins over c.opt and dr on the more team-oriented maps of 2fort and gravelpit, respectively) and MNM doesn't. Therefore,
 
If aG is good,
and MNM is bad,
then MNM is going to lose badly and still not let me ring for them.

Gashuffer's Prediction: aG, 3-0.

Come on back next week to see how he did and to keep reading his predictions as the tournament nears the Grand Finals. Keep it locked on GotFrag.com; you're #1 source for Team Fortress 2 news and coverage.